The faces we wear . . .

Watching an episode of "Face off", the makeup artist competition, has gotten me thinking. As a mother, we wear many faces. Housekeeper, first aid medic, snuggle administrator, audiobook, TV operator, educator, and, yes, window cleaner.

These many faces we wear and roles we play can lead us down many differing paths, some good, some difficult. Looking back over the choices I've made in my life, and the choices I've made for my girls, I can see where I've felt the need to fulfill a certain "role" or wear a certain "face" to satisfy others. Even putting Stevi (oldest DD) in public school was a need to fill a role. The role of a "NORMAL PARENT"(emphasis totally intentional). Now that I've done so, I'm severely feeling the absence of my role as Homeschooling Mom.

I'm feeling the need to examine my motives, and decide which role is more important. NORMAL PARENT, or Homeschooling Mom. And, honestly, it's something I have to consider. I've always hated the fact that my parents were "weird". And, trust me, they were. They didn't believe everything on the news, I wasn't vaccinated, I didn't have a social security number until I was 14 and had to get my driver's license, and, oh yeah, my mom went to jail for 4 years because she fought the IRS and, yeah, the law won. No surprise there.

It's kind of crazy to think of all the ways my childhood has affected me in my adult life. What saddens me is how it's affecting my children. I'm not really cool with that. I have to discern my reasons for what I'm doing, and whether or not they're good enough reasons. I enjoy my break while Stevi is at school. Not gonna lie. I like having quiet time while the baby naps. I didn't realize how much I needed it. I also miss that my daughter is learning things from someone else. And, let's be honest here, she's not really learning much. We started working on place values the first week of first grade. Now she's in public school, first grade, and they just start place values this week. Sooooooooo, I'm struggling with that. I told Stevi she could stay until Christmas . . . but honestly, I don't think she's going back after that.

Well, sorry about the rambling, but this was a post I felt needed written. I don't know how many other homeschool moms are out there struggling with this decision, but for me, I think the face I need to wear is Homeschool Mom. I think it's the best thing for Stevi.